Dr. Mindy Lahiri, The Mindy Project
Our social distancing gameplan includes watching a ton of rom-coms, something that Mindy Lahiri would be down with as she provides hilarious, witty commentary.
Pros: It seems smart to hang out with a doctor right around now
Cons: You'd have to keep her from texting her exes
Renata Klein, Big Little Lies
She will not not be healthy! Being stuck with Renata Klein could be the perfect way to learn how to channel your inner boss bitch energy.
Pros: She can throw a great costume party (for fewer than 10 people!)
Cons: Will destroy your train set
Fleabag, Fleabag
When we're all by ourselves for too long, we also find ourselves facing the fourth wall and talking to no one, kind of like our favorite, Fleabag.
Pros: Owns a sandwich shop that would keep us happily fed
Cons: Smarter and funnier than us
Chidi Anagonye, The Good Place
Right now the world feels a little like the Bad Place, so who better to be in the thick of it with than a guy who was able to get out and to the Good Place while being an ethical king?
Pros: Can teach us all about philosophy with the down time
Cons: Will be indecisive about everything
Elaine Benes, Seinfeld
Seinfeld was one of the most iconic shows for years, even though it wasn't really about anything, meaning someone like Elaine will know how to keep us entertained when really not much is going on as we hunker down.
Pros: Can teach us some amazing dance moves
Cons: Is banned from the best soup spot
Joey Tribbiani, Friends
How you doin'? We'd be doing much better if we got to spend our days with this hilarious, lovable character who loves food as much as us.
Pros: Would be down to eat pizza every night with us
Cons: Is gullible and would probably fall for some fake news
Rafael Barba, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
In chaotic times, we look to calming people, such as Rafael Barba from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, whose intelligence and professionalism would keep us grounded.
Pros: Is both brains and beauty to be around
Cons: Would win every argument you get into
Michael Kelso, That '70s Show
Sometimes in the face of uncertainty, you want to just relax with someone who doesn't take things so seriously, which is why Michael Kelso could be the perfect partner in crime.
Pros: Would have the perfect munchies for a long lockdown
Cons: Would probably be too high to help if you were in danger
Leslie Knope, Parks and Rec
Leslie Knope was built for a situation like this, where she would be simultaneously working with the government to fix this while also crafting you thoughtful, unique gifts.
Pros: Would already be talking to the government on a 37-point plan to fix things
Cons: Would eat all of your stockpiled waffles
Jenna Maroney, 30 Rock
Listen up fives, a ten is speaking! Jenna Maroney with her hilarious one-liners would be the perfect person to be around to take our mind off of anything going on outside.
Pros: Has a copy of the Rural Juror to watch over and over
Cons: Will freak out it you get any more attention than her
Dr. Cristina Yang, Grey's Anatomy
Hanging out with one of the smartest doctors from the Seattle Grace Hospital just seems practical, but Cristina also proved time and time again she is an equally good friend, too.
Pros: Knows everything about medicine and would be able to take care of you
Cons: Would be overly competitive when playing board games
Karen Walker, Will & Grace
If your limited grocery trips have included stocking up the wine, then the character you know you'd want to be hanging with until this is all over is none other than the hilarious and candid Karen Walker.
Pros: Would turn your lockdown into a party
Cons: You'll be hungover every day
Olivia Pope, Scandal
Olivia Pope has handled scandals with political figures, including the President, so you can count on her to handle a pandemic situation, all while giving you a monologue that will make you feel like an invincible Gladiator.
Pros: Is connected to high-ranking people and would know what's going on first
Cons: Is also connected to underground criminal organizations that sort of put you in danger
Dwight Schrute, The Office
An emergency situation is exactly the sort of thing a volunteer sheriff's deputy like Dwight Schrute has been training for, so you know you're in good hands as you binge Battlestar Galactica together.
Pros: Has a beet farm you can take refuge on
Cons: Having to share that beet farm with his weird cousin, Mose
Phil Dunphy, Modern Family
When things feel a little scary, we find ourselves kind of wanting a parental figure, which is why hanging out with one of America's favorite fictional dads could make us feel like everything will be just right.
Pros: Will have plenty of dad jokes to get you through this
Cons: Too many dad jokes to get you through this
Alexis Rose, Schitt's Creek
Perhaps now is the best time to embrace small-town living, and who better to do that with than someone whose family owns its own town and has a motel to post up in.
Pros: Can get you a first look at her mom's movie, The Crows Have Eyes 3
Cons: Will get under your skin constantly by saying "Ew, [insert your first name here]" if you get sick
Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl
Gossip girl, here, and the Upper East Side socialite that anyone would want to hang out with for the next few weeks is naturally Blair, who would tackle this situation in style.
Pros: B would have all the scoop and gossip, which would be our entertainment while in quarantine
Cons: She would judge us for wearing sweats all day, since she'd no doubt have a face mask that matches her headband
Abbi and Ilana, Broad City
Who wouldn't want to be the third-wheel to these besties who would no doubt make us laugh during these trying times?
Pros: Abbi knows how to clean up vomit and somehow Ilana would be thriving during all of this
Cons: Would have to be locked in a small New York City apartment
Steve Harrington, Stranger Things
When you're facing down disaster, it helps to be with someone who knows a thing or two about coming out of one alive...and, in Steve's case, with amazing hair.
Pros: Steve knows how to swing a bat
Cons: That doesn't help in this situation
Joe Goldberg, You
If you are looking to be alone with someone who knows everything about you, like literally everything because they have been secretly stalking you, then this is your best bet.
Pros: Has a clear box to take shelter in
Cons: IS A MURDERER